The Productivity Performance

Last Tuesday morning was packed.

I was modelling some facade elements in Rhino for a client when I got a message from another client. The plugin that I made for them had a bug. Something about the output geometry not matching their new inputs.

I knew that if I switch to the other task, this facade model wouldn’t get done. So, I took my time to finish it first before switching over to debug the tool. Thankfully, it wasn’t a hard issue, so I put in the fix, ran a quick test and gave it back. I told them that I would run it through more vigorous testing later.

And.... just like that, it was 3pm.

My day started at 7am and I haven’t had lunch yet. So, that was the next thing I did.

The break did me good, because I was roaring to finish off my work for today. But what was work ?

Well, let me check my inbox to see any new emails.

No new emails.

Oh right, I replied to them all. Let me check my task list.

No outstanding tasks.

Right, I did all of them too.

So then, what do I do now ?

Maybe I should refactor that section of the codebase that’s been bugging me. I pulled the latest code down and started looking through it. I was about to start but is this really the best use of my time? The code works. I know it’s not tidy but it works and no one is asking me to clean it up.

Okay, maybe I should write a few outreach messages instead. So, I open LinkedIn and start scrolling through connections, trying to figure out who to reach out to. But I had already messaged a few people yesterday. Haven’t I already done my quota of reaching out for the week? I know I can do more but is that really the best use of my time?

Alright, I could finally clean up that old Grasshopper script I keep saying I’ll get to. So, I open the file, but same as before, is this really the best use of my time?

The next two hours were more of the same thing. I couldn’t stick to a single task. All I did was open tabs and programs until computer complained about it’s memory. Eventually, like my computer, I got so tired of deciding that I closed everything and went for a walk.

The need to be productive

I wonder if others grew up in their careers always needing to prove themselves. And then once they did, that habit (previously good, now bad) just stuck with them. Like there’s this constant need to ensure we are valuable.

I was anxious because I wasn’t doing anything productive. So I kept pulling at straws finding for some way to feel productive. I kept trying new tasks but none of it felt important because I was trying to decide and execute at the same time.

Really, what I should have done is allowed myself to take a longer break, since I worked at 150% in the morning.

It’s strange. I have read enough books to know that I need good sleep. That I need to go to the gym or eat healthily. But when it comes to taking a break from work, I don’t find myself listening to the literature at all. I have this tendency to want to be productive all the time. But much like Icarus, if I keep working like that I’ll burn out.

The need to always want to be productive or as they call it, “high agency” serves me well. It’s this drive to deliver things and provide value for other people. But when it’s the excuse I use to deny myself a break, that’s when it works against me.

I think a lot of people in digital roles feel this. The role doesn’t have built-in proof of value. An engineer has drawings going out the door. A project manager has deadlines being tracked. But ourwork is often hard to measure.

So we fill it with things that makes us seem productive. Right, we “improve” things. We refactor. Worst of all, we build things no one asks us for. We cling to this idea that we have to be building things all the time because it’s our value.

But when the work is done. We shouldn’t try to force new things just because we feel insecure about our value. I’d delivered everything and more that morning. I should have taken the afternoon off, it was a natural gap between projects. But instead, I forced it into something productive and wasted two hours performing productivity because I felt guilty about being finished.

This is the hardest thing when you transition from a role where you’re paid hourly to where you’re paid for the value. Not every hour is equal and not every hour needs to justify itself. The value you created that morning doesn’t disappear because you went for a walk at 2pm.

When the work is done, let it be done.

Thanks for reading
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